Don’t be that guy

Draft day in fantasy sports is one of the best days of the year. It’s the D-Day for the fantasy player. You can make or break your season based on the decisions made on this momentous day.

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DON’T BE “THAT GUY” ON DRAFT DAY!

For the serious player, there will surely be a spillover effect into real life that can translate into misery or elation over the course of the next six months. And those of us who still draft the old-fashioned way, not online, but by meeting in somebody’s basement, living room or bar – we’ve all witnessed “that guy” at the draft who will absorb unrelenting ridicule because of his embarrassing draft day actions. Don’t be that guy on draft day!

So to avoid being “that guy”, here is a list of ten rules to remember:

1. Don’t be that guy who calls out the name of a retired player when it’s your turn to pick.

Just a heads-up, but Jake Plummer, Marshall Faulk and Corey Dillon are no longer eligible to be selected.

2. Don’t be that guy who calls out the name of a player who has already been drafted by somebody else. Not only did you use up all your allotted time (again), now you’ve just brought the draft to a screeching halt.

3. Don’t be that guy who’s frantically flipping the pages of his fantasy football draft magazine every time it’s his turn to pick. It’s bad enough you just bought it from 7-11 on the way to the draft, at least pretend like you’ve glimpsed at it before showing up.

4. Don’t be that guy who drinks a six-pack before round three. You were funny in rounds one and two, now you’re a train wreck who keeps quoting Samuel Jackson from Pulp Fiction.

5. Don’t be that guy who’s sitting next to the drunk guy. Move away while you still can; his breath isn’t going to get any better.

6. Don’t be that guy who only drafts players from his favorite team, especially if that team is the Chicago Bears.

7. Don’t be that guy who offers to host the draft and plays the entire Genesis box set in his 6 CD player as background music.

8. Don’t be that guy who shows up with his wife or girlfriend. Even more pathetic is if you’re consulting with her on which players to draft. (This rule is withdrawn if she’s really hot).

9. Don’t be that guy who loudly boasts that every pick he makes is, “the steal of the draft”. Waiting for  David Carr to  emerge as the comeback player of the year is not a steal, just a crime against your time.

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